A few days ago I received word that again our case was
scheduled for review.I had just
finished reading Isaiah, and for the third time a scripture leapt from the page
into my heart.Isaiah 60:4-5
"Lift up your eyes and look about you:All assemble and come to you; your sons come
from afar, and your daughters are carried on the arm.Then you will look and be radiant, your heart
will throb and swell with joy; the wealth on the seas will be brought to you,
to you the riches of the nations will come."
At three in the morning as one mother could not sleep, she
prayed for her daughter's family.To
know that God cares deeply about details and only God makes genuine families,
the email from the Philippines
that approved our adoption was time-stamped at 3:15 am.Therefore, it is with great delight I announce
we are gaining riches from afar, a son and a daughter.They are coming home in the near future.
As I've poured out my heart to Jesus during this process, I
know that He speaks to the unworthy.He
delights to turn the unqualified into parents of nations, and He births the
craziest ideas in His people.We get to
live His magnificent adventure and be blessed by his very own hand with the
riches of the nations.Some argue that
adoption bankrupts you, your husband will never be able to retire, and you are
fools asking for trouble.Let it be
known when you are part of God's distribution, an impoverished spirit is impossible. I'm humbled
that the Richest Man in the World has bestowed more wealth on our lives.Sweet daughter and son, who am I that the Lord would look on me with
such favor to make me your mother?
The days went by and our case was not rescheduled.I was longing for the day that our lives, condensed
on paper, would plead before the board in the Philippines, "Approve us!Make these precious children orphans no
longer."As I waited I continued
reading in Isaiah.When I reached
chapter 49, verse 22 and 23 stood out to me.Here again:
"This is what the Sovereign Lord says: 'See, I will
beckon to the nations, I will lift up my banner to the peoples; they will bring
your sons in their arms and carry your daughters on their shoulders.Kings
will be your foster fathers, and their queens your nursing mothers...Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not
I thought of the grace of Jesus to repeat words to my
doubting heart.I already had one son
from the east who had a king for a foster father and a queen that nursed him,
but I was sure the verse was there for what God was still going to bring to
pass.Out of the nations God calls
children into his eternal family.My
precious Father adopts recklessly, because he adopts out of the richness of his
mercy, but also through the willing poverty of his Son.What can I add?So let it be said, so let it be done.Make us like unto you,dear Father.Thus we wait a bit longer.
A big decision that would affect the rest of our lives was scheduled
to be made on July 8.I was praying for
the Lord's favor that we might be able to adopt two siblings.I shared with a friend that I was waiting
for a word from the Lord.My friend, her
husband and seven kids wrote me that they would be praying that God would be
glorified as he DOES set the lonely in families.As only the Lord can orchestrate, I began
reading Isaiah chapter 43 that day.Because
I wasn't reading on a plan, I just picked up where I left off reading in Isaiah
from the day before.I started to cry
when I got to verse 5 and 6.
"Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your
children from the east and gather you from the west. I will say to the north,
'Give them up!' and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.' Bring my sons from
afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth--"
I was overwhelmed that Christ would let me read those words
on that particular decision day.I felt
so unworthy in His Presence. Tears slipped
down my cheeks because I was amazed that he would choose to speak to me and
whisper his intimate intentions so that I would feel them in a resounding way. And as often happens, when you get a word from
the Lord, disappointing circumstances loom large and entice you to doubt what
you just heard.Therefore, it wasn't
surprising that the next day I found out that the board in the Philippines
did not discuss us or the children we hoped to make ours.Our case was still unheard.
As we made a quick jaunt to one of my favorite stores to buy a gallon of blue paint, the moon was already high in the dusky sky. It was just Teddy and me. Teddy said, "Look at the small states." With English still only a year and a half spoken, I wasn't sure what he was talking about. He told me to look again and I tried to figure out to where these small states were. For my clarification he added, "Look at the small states like California and Idaho." Now I was really confused. Next Teddy pointed out the obvious outlines of the western states on the moon. How could I argue with his discovery. Then he matter-of-factly told me the states looked kind of messy. His moon talk completely enchanted me, and I learned that even the surface of the moon is a beautiful mess to those who are not persnickety about geography.
You are not here by mistake. I am the girl who was named "God is Gracious", and I am learning just how true that is. Welcome to my inside out world where being a follower of Jesus Christ, I see His story beautifully rewriting my own. I am married to my best friend and have a quiver of precious children.