Due to my pathetic last post, let me tell you about the good things that have been happening. On Sunday night, Ben and I went on a date basically all-paid by his generous employer. We had appetizers at a restaurant and then watched Mama Mia. It was an incredibly beautiful film...saturated colors and unbelievable landscapes. Abba was super catchy and humorous. It was an artistic movie, but sadly SO hedonistic. The end of the movie was ruined by blatant homosexuality and marriage vows being too restrictive for the young lovers. I feel sad when I glimpse the carnality that is being legitimized. I intimately know that human nature is repulsive, and I am the worst of hedonists. Of course, I have been tempted to live without sacred commitments. Who hasn't wanted something for nothing? Who hasn't wanted less responsibility and more freedom? The pursuit of pleasure hypnotizes us into thinking our life will be full and complete; it will have meaning and significance. In reality, self love leads to suicide. You end up where life can't give you anymore and you deserve better. You demand better. Disappointment becomes fatal.
Thank goodness, God is in the process of redeeming. I think the hardest thing for me is to see how subtly my flesh is entangled. It doesn't take much for me to loose focus on what life is about. It doesn't take much for me to have entitlements. Aah, if I could only stay closer to God, to have his virtues rub off on me, what a different person I would be. People would notice my contentment.
Today, it was gloriously cool and breezy at 76 degrees. God gave me a day where I could comfortably wear jeans outside to cover my legs. I'm feeling more optimistic already.
18 hours ago