To the Mother I Never Knew

I don't know if you are alive or dead.   I wonder if you wish circumstances were different.  Do you live with nine years of regret?  Do you live with recurring nightmares?  Is the earth around your feet soft with tears?  On the anniversary of the drop-off, do you visit the site of your heartache?  Are you the stranger that asks what happened to the round-faced, man child, or are you glad in the not knowing?  Were you brave to birth a child without permission?  Or maybe you were the privileged one with a pregnancy sanctioned by the government.  Did all your hopes and dreams alter with his twisted feet and folded hands?  Do you keep the matching newspaper clipping in a secret spot in your drawer?  I will never know if you sob into your pillow or bite your lips and think of something else. 

This Mother's Day, I want you to know that your great sacrifice birthed your child in another woman's heart.  I am your son's second mother and I know I would not have him without you.  Oh, may you know he is loved, safe and treasured.  Your son's brown eyes sparkle when he smiles, and he tells me jokes about barefoot bears.  His twisted feet are straightened and he runs on a different continent with your blood coursing through his veins.  He is first Chinese and second American.  He wrote me a beautiful card for Mother's Day saying, "I love you, Mommy."  My heart knows that that card should have been yours.  Your love was bigger than his 14 pounds.  You entrusted something priceless to the passing finder.  He was found and named "little warrior."  He inherited your strength and fought for the life you gave him.

The child found in Bengbu on February 7, 2007 is now our "gift of God."  As he gets older and as he asks questions, I want you to know I will honor you.   You chose life and our son is learning about the Life Giver, Jesus.  May your Heavenly Father so assure you of his love for you that where your tears have softened the ground may 100 flowers grow. 

Dear Mother across the ocean, may my thanks reach you and give you hope, joy and peace.

Never Too Late

I confess it has taken a month and three days to post a trip that lasted only 16 days.  In some ways, I am grateful for the chance to stay a little longer in China without physically being there.  It was a very unique trip and much of it had to remain unbloggable.  Don't feel cheated.  You got to see some of the pictorial highlights. 

It seems fitting that we didn't know our hotel had a rooftop garden until the last day we were in China.  We made it to the roof by means of an elevator, but how we got to that particular moment and that particular hour is much harder to explain. 

The simple answer is God took us to China and He added to our family there.  How privileged we are to get to live His story for us from the foundations of the world.  Sweet Teddy has always belonged in our family, we just weren't clued in till he was six.  

Was the time wasted?

Absolutely not.  God was preparing us for Teddy and Teddy for us.

Now that Teddy is five months shy of 8, I marvel that God is most patient bringing about his plans.

 

Ben was giving me his best glamour shots' pose

The static electricity from the play equipment made a shocking good photo

 

Behind Alex there was a tennis court

 

 

 

 

 

Jumping Jehoshaphat, don't fall in the water.

Levitating in the air

Silly boy

Must be wearing special shoes.

His mischievous self

 

 In the van to Hong Kong, we watched the sun set on China and there ended one chapter of our adoption story.  The next chapters are being written and I will tell you it is a beautiful journey.  We feel less tired and more blessed than a month ago.  Teddy is adjusting very well to life in the real America.

Where Your Feet Lead You -part 2

We did a lot of walking while in Guangzhou and were very thankful for such lovely parks to spend hours exploring

The boat in the background really beckoned.

 

 The younger kids danced in the park while some musician played their guitars.

The trees were magical

We liked the little stools the gardeners sat on.

Early evening at the park

 

My Mr. Tic Tac

He loved dispensing tic tacs to us.  He would suck on his own tic tac until it was a colorless sliver and then take it out of his mouth.  Beware of the orange tic tacs, he dropped them on the ground and then put them all back in the container.  Nothing so good should be wasted.

 She went to China with gaps in her mouth but a heart filled with thoughts of Teddy.

 I never tire of looking at his thoughtful, handsome face.

One of my favorite photos of the four littles.

Exercised with the locals

Growing older