Saturday, March 30, 2013

The town far far away

My whole way of thinking has been dumped out like the contents of a cardboard box on moving day.  I have gone from one mental dwelling to a town far far away.  I have seen God take my incapability and infuse it with himself.  Several years ago I realized how I was destitute in the department of loving anyone.  I was unlovely and selfish.  I saw my shortcomings with candid truth and I hated what I saw.  Unfortunately my glimpse into my humanness was not tapered with biblical truth.  I was seeing the universal person when I saw myself, but I didn't realize it then.  Rather I wondered what was wrong with me and why I was so ugly.  Ah, the beauty of being broken and without answers.  The wild desperation that leads to finding answers where they have always been - in Christ and Christ alone.  From my personal experience when you are wrecked against the Rock, and yet find yourself one piece in grace, that is supernatural. 

Being driven from safety and compelled to the town far far away, God permitted my thinking to be emptied.   I realized how the ability to love wasn't in me.  I was the empty box.  God was the contents.  Love is not humanly natural.  It is all God-driven. It is all divine.  I was not unlike the rest of the world.  I was an object of grace, and because of that, any love I showed would have to be the outworking of the Holy Spirit in my life.  What a resurrection day. 

C.S. Lewis wrote so well, "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one... Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

God was vulnerable.   He gave his very self.   His love was costly.  His love was willingly nailed to the cross and his love was willingly entombed in the grave.  But on the third day his love was fulfilled.   His resurrection brought me to life.  His resurrection reshapes my heart for the things that matter to him.  The Lover of my Soul opened my eyes to my inadequacy to enable me to love recklessly through his power.

Now, "We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:19

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Egg Drop


When you have chickens, it doesn't seem so wasteful to drop eggs from a twelve foot ladder.  The kids and I borrowed and adapted this egg drop idea from a friend.  It was our goal to package the eggs to prevent breakage.   On the first drop over pavement, my egg in its doubled-over, taped-shut carton broke.  I definitely lost but satisfied my curiosity to see if a regular old carton was up for a free fall.

Emily (apple juice jug, bubble wrap and brown paper) came in second to last with two drops before her egg broke. 
 Fritz (lunch meat container, old socks, shock absorbing sponge and red sash)  
And Jane (solo cup, old socks and brown paper) tied with 4 drops before breakage.

Alex (atom like model with foam balls protruding from the ball encased egg in the center) came in with a whopping 8 drops...his design was ingenious and bouncy.

 No matter, every egg broke eventually.  It was very amusing. 

Friday, March 15, 2013

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Objective Lose It

Ben and I were privileged to hear this fellow speak a few weeks ago.  His story is heartbreakingly beautiful.  I love how clearly God is wooing souls to himself in seemingly godless societies.  This is a book of human abandonment, but a boy discovering the presence of his heavenly father.  Alex rewrites his life story with eyes illuminated to the fact that he no longer is an orphan.  He shares the catalyst of Christ that changed his mind and softened his heart to his ever-loving Father.  As a westerner, I am guilty of thinking God is good and loving when things go smoothly for me. Whereas, this man knows that God is good in the frozen land, the land without hope, the place where you don't see Him, but God still sees you. 
Wow. wow. wow.  This is a one-of-a-kind book speaks of deeper faith and understanding of God than many of our western churches preach.  This is a familial account of living in North Korea while living under the banner of God.  God has not forsaken his remnant.  This book is proof that walking in obedience to Christ is full of "absurdities."  We will be wrongfully accused and imprisoned but get to free spiritual captives, we will be hungry but get to feed souls, we will be destitute but get to make many rich.  A quote from the powerful afterword, "...when we find ourselves in dark places, rather than focusing our thoughts on escape, we will instead seek to emit light."

Just as God's ways are mysterious and contrary to human reasoning,  Matthew 10:39 aptly sums up these little but powerful books.
"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

Friday, March 01, 2013