Thursday, June 20, 2013

I want to be the wax

My ambition is simple.  Make me like the red Gouda cheese wrapper.  I want to be pliable in the light of the Son.  I want the Son to reshape the way I think so that I am kingdom molded. 

I want to let the gospel so impress me that I see the daily miracles God continues to bring about.  Make me a red wax arrow pointing to his Majesty.

I want to engage life before it happens and count myself blessed by God though my heart melts with fear, because his sure doesn't.  I want to live in God's presence and remain soft and trusting when life's rats have eaten up the cheese and all that remains is the wrapper.    

How beautifully Spurgeon said," The same sun which melts wax hardens clay."   

It is such a profound truth.  God has remade this once brittle clay which cracked when God's work was "absent" or (to stay in the same metaphor) when God's sun shone "too hot".  I have been where I extrapolated the evil that befell me and tried to make a better god in my image.  A wish granting god who with a 30 second chime removes the tears, the heartaches and the destruction.  When God didn't work the way I figured he should, I became sullen and angry.  How clay-like I was.  I was sun-baked and foolish.  Jesus already completed the victory on the cross.  Our faith should be fixed in what he did...we can't make a whole new gospel when we don't see him working. 

The truth of the matter is that when I look back, it was God who bore my faith through the shadow of doubt.  He persevered on my behalf when I couldn't.  He was always working.  Thank you, Jesus.

I delight in the fact that who I once was I am no longer.  The little clay god I made is broken shards scattered at my feet.   God has done what he can only do.  He is the great alchemist who takes worthless clay notions and changes them into gleaming wax, shaped by His hand.

1 comment:

Jeanine said...

Amen, sister. I love your words and your heart.