Thursday, September 18, 2014

Certified letter & cinders (part 1)

It all started late one Monday afternoon, when I found a peach slip in our mailbox.   The post office had tried to deliver a certified letter and I wasn't home to sign for it.   Anybody who has gotten certified mail before knows that your stomach drops to your toes (no matter how tall you are), because inevitably certified means someone is certified crazy mad at you.   Well, the post office had the courtesy to warn us it was from our homeowners' association.   We had twelve plus hours till the post office reopened to rack our minds for any grievances our neighbors might have against us.   What made it worse was that we had spent most of  Saturday making homemade pies for all the neighbors and had delivered the last ones Sunday.   We were regretting not baking the pies a week sooner.  The only thing that consoled us was that the neighbor, who had ratted us out to the homeowners' association, would make the perfectly seasoned apples and crisp strudel topping turn to cinders in their guilty mouth.   We were at our Biblical best...doesn't Scripture say that if you show kindness to your enemy it is like pouring burning coals on his head?   You have just viewed our unedited humanity, but I won't pretend that those were anything but inexcusably vindictive thoughts.  

We worried if the neighbors were upset that our orchard needed mowing, the orchard where I gathered all those delicious apples for their pies and got chiggers in the process.   Perhaps the neighbors hated the weeds in our lawn that waved proudly with the wind and promised to encroach on their pristine yards.  Maybe the neighbors didn't like that our dog chases the geese in the pond or slurps water from their sprinklers when he passes by.

While delivering a pie, my newly aquainted neighbor confided she thought I was blonde. Strange.  A day in a half later, it all made sense .  Ben jokingly suggested she filed a complaint to the homeowners' that her neighbor is a polygamist.  We tried to laugh at the absurdity, but our hearts hurt too badly.

-to be continued-

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