Thursday, October 09, 2008

A Day of Remembrance

October 9th is a highlight of my year. Six years ago I had a precious brown-eyed baby boy. His puppy dog eyes and sweet disposition endeared him to everyone. Around six months old we began to notice that Fritz had many, many café-au-laits. Ben, being a studious medical student at the time, understood the ramifications of his son’s unusual spots. He had the diagnosis criteria of Neurofibromatosis. I was devastated. Our first son had been a preemie and later had to deal with lead poisoning. Now our second son had a genetic disease. Why us?

I want to share a segment of a letter I wrote to a friend in 2003.

“There was a little girl, around 7, in our church who came by herself. She had walked from her home many blocks away and was sitting on the curb an hour before church began. Her name is Misty. In Sunday school I heard someone mention how she has tumors all inside her body and also her brain. They had forgotten the name of her condition. Later in church I sat behind a little girl who looked…to have some physical problems. I realized this had to be Misty. I also noticed she had the same café-au-lait spots that Fritz did. It was then that Ben and I realized she had Neurofibromatosis. It was very difficult to sit through the morning message; I cried almost the whole time. It made the disease so real and so scary. Supposedly this girl has defied her life expectancy due to the severity of her complications. I should have been praising God for her still living, but I think I was selfishly crying over my son. I don’t remember a word the pastor said that day…”

This remarkable incident triggered Ben to set up a time to intercede for our baby boy with the pastor. Later that week a dear believer from our church came over and prayed over Fritz and poured out Scripture to me. My heart which had been in turmoil was flooded with peace. It was one of the most memorable days of my life. The next day our faith-filled pastor and elder came to our home and anointed Fritz with oil and prayed over him. I really believed Fritz was healed. Today I know he was. Years later my definition of healing is slightly different. Then I just wanted him to have no physical and mental problems. Now I know God has a bright future for my son even if he does experience physical suffering. Fritz is a new creation. When he became a Christian his old body became a temporary shell. As I have lived longer and met more Christians with ailments I realize the Man of Sufferings is precious in their lives. I would never wish ugly deformity or pain on my son, but God is merciful and good. And He is powerful. Is anything too hard for him? Jeremiah 32:27

“The following Sunday after our prayer time, the pastor spoke on 1 John 5:13. After the service, he asked me if I had read on to verse 14 and 15…I had, and felt that the words promised that God had answered our prayer. The pastor felt the same. The dear believer, who had also prayed with us, independently came up to me with the exact same verses in reference to Fritz.”

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him. 1 John 5:14-15

My faith journey continues. Some days I fall into sinful worry and forget that my son is in the hands of the Great Physician, the Maker of the Universe, the Gentle Shepherd. When my eyes refocus on Christ I am embarrassed at my lack of faith. Today I am more thankful than ever for my son Fritz. I no longer question “why us?”, but rather count it a privilege to bear testimony of God’s extraordinary work in our lives.

I wish I could share Misty's testimony too, but I don't know it. I have to believe that a child who limped to church without parents will someday be sitting on the lap of her Heavenly Father. When Fritz's birthday arrives I think of her too.


M&M said...

what a sweet post...bittersweet in some ways.
However, your faith in God's promise of faithfulness from the day we prayed over Fritz until now has been a constant reminder and inspiration to stick out my trust in God's promises to me.

Jeanine said...

Oh Anna, reading that brought tears to my eyes. I will always remember what God did for sweet Fritz. I have told his story so many times. When I see that beautiful, healthy boy I am always amazed at how the Lord touched him. I agree with you, God has big plans for your son. He will use Fritz in mighty ways. Happy Birthday Fritz!

Beajoy said...

Anna!! Thank you so much for sharing that story on your blog! Hard to believe it's been six years since he was born!!! Praise God for His faithfulness in Fritz's life and yours! I can see how the Lord has worked in your life and your faith by reading that post! Don't you just love 1 John?? So thankful for those memorizing days! Happy birthday to your wonderful little boy!

Jenny said...

I remember when you wrote that letter to me. It's still so vivid in my mind! Your faith has always been such an encouragement and challenge to me. I'm thankful to have you as my friend, and praise God for how He works wonderfully through you! Happy Birthday to Fritz! (I always think he looks so much like your dad!)